a night and a day

i did my zast yoga last night; it was invigorating and also what i needed. i slept soundly for 4 hours and 2 hr nap before my dreaded job .

but at work i felt like i was more kinetic and magnetic; things just happened around me. i've also meditated on certain tattawas but today i felt centered and my humaness was more apparent since i took an oath of celibacy for 3 yrs, 3 months and 3 days. this path i'm on is strage a pendulem of severity one moment than satori and calm. i understand in many ways how the lamas and bon; became masters of the sacred arts through madness and clarity of the tao and zen. but the mental dance is intoxicating and perplexing. i haven't finished my 20 demons out of 72 left; yet; but i feel that it's ; less relevent than a mental construct of chittam ,or maya in the microcasmic approach. i have to use yoga and bon methods to transcend this material and human coil to know truly know truth. but, i also feel a single pointedness like i haven't felt before as muadib did in children of dune. he was aware of the the limits of the atman that worshiped his illusory image and the ideal self. he saw tht becoming a mad man of the wild was more real than living as an emperor of the house of aritredies. Now, some will disagreee with my observations. that is fine. but try to push yourself to find the calm from the abyss; let me know. than get back to me when you embrace the abyss and see the calm surround you.  i'm finally finding peace amongst the chaos. it's not over yet. far from. trust me boundless zen, and magick are limitless in gnosis and understanding and above all ; silence.


R777